Idol Syndrome

american idol has created a little hiccup in my life. i will expand. when someone hears that i am an opera singer, the first thing they ask is where am i singing...at la opera? when i say that i am still training because my voice isn't ready yet (i'm 31 years old, let's remember) they want to know why and then immediately suggest that i go on american idol or america's got talent. this is just one symptom of a broken culture that eats mcdonalds. people think that talent needs to be famous right now and that it's somehow a good thing to bypass years of training, practice and real world experience as a person in order to be famous or get a record contract. mariah carey has already spoken out about the skipping of the artistic development, so i'm not going to address that part of it. i am going to speak about the broken concept we as a culture have about time.

when i told people that i wanted to start bodybuilding, no one suggested a fast way to become a competitive athlete. people did say things like, "wow, that will take a lot of time and discipline to develop that kind of body." there is an understanding, to a point, that building muscles and asking your body to change with and for you that people don't have of musicians, especially singers. a woman's voice doesn't physiologically settle down till her early to mid thirties. opera is the neurosurgery of the singing world. the tightrope walkers, if you will. one wrong technique or one misstep and the voice is "dead" for a career in opera as a principle singer. starting to sing professionally before the technique and the physical development of the voice are ready is setting one up for a five year career instead of a twenty five year career. thus, i am waiting....waiting tables and waiting for my body to age and for my breath to cooperate with my brain and my body. i am practicing and creating a physical foundation as a singer and a musician from which i can create art.

as far as the difference in the type of singing needed for these shows versus what i do in opera, all i can say is...if i were training to be a professional soccer player, you wouldn't ask me to try out for a rugby team, would you? opera is a specialty. those who are pursuing careers as principle singers don't generally branch out. it would be putting energy that could be put into my focus into something that is not my focus and not my passion.

i am so grateful for beginning my lifting of weights since it has slowed down my thinking as far as the opera goes. in my head i know that i will be ready to start singing professionally around age 33, but i still want to push for sooner. i see people i know beginning their careers and i want to be included. i have to remember that i am building a foundation for my voice and my career and not theirs. no one gets to say where or when is right for another person and i wish i could remember that more. we all get our own paths and choices in this life and each is as valid as the other. there is no shame in waiting constructively.

today i stay in the moment while building for tomorrow's rewards, remembering that faster does not necessarily mean better.