Snot-nosed Setbacks

i have been sidelined. i thought it was allergies and then, perhaps a little cold. whatever it was blew up and now i am on antibiotics and in bed repairing myself. i read a book in which the author said that any undertaking that evolves one's soul or getting tighter abdominals will illicit resistance and that resistance sometimes takes the form of illness. while i don't want to blame this on some resistance "conspiracy," i do want to take this time to rally my spirits and not let this pothole derail my journey. yes, there is major change happening in my voice and in my body and in life in general, and maybe, just for this moment, it was too much for my body to handle.

i've never been the horse-healthy strong person. if i had lived in the 1800's i would have died of consumption at eighteen for sure. they would have declared me as one who has a "delicate constitution." i don't want that to define me. i don't want to limit my physicality by what my body has been capable of in the past. i believe that the mind can get the body to go where it hasn't ever been before. they say "change your thoughts and change your life." that is true to a point, but thinking hasn't ever gotten someone off of the couch...for long. i think that actions speak louder than words, but also that actions make the words reality. i have been consistent in my practice and my training and have been rewarded, but now i'm stuck in my body and the body isn't working properly. my mind runs wild. prior to these last few months i would have taken this illness as my body saying that i was running it too hard. i would back off or quit altogether. now i am taking this time to remember why i am on this journey and to repeat to myself that i didn't get sick from not taking care of myself. sick just happens sometimes and i have to just drive over the pothole and not let my "alignment" get out of whack.

today i am thinking of healing rather than the gym days i have missed. i am focusing on being gentle while remembering that there is work waiting to be done, but that it will not expire just because i am down for the count. it's so easy to lose sight of what is right in the world when little things catch me up. i'm looking for flowers to water and not the weeds.